


That Random Broom Cupboard

by brionyjae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M, Humor, M/M, Romance, Slash, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-07
Updated: 2006-10-07
Packaged: 2017-10-23 20:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/254607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brionyjae/pseuds/brionyjae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco attempt to find an empty random broom cupboard... however, it's not entirely what they expected...</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Random Broom Cupboard

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to 'What's A Website?', although can be read as a stand-alone.

"Ow! Harry, your nails are sharp! That was my stomach!"

"Sorry Draco, it's just that these school shirts are so damn hard to unbutton."

"Speaking of hard…"

"Not here Draco! What do you think people would see if they found us – Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, to make it more crazy – in the dungeons corridor with my hand down your pants!"

"They'd think that you are very lucky to have such a hot and attractive boyfriend."

"Yeah, right… they'd think I had a disease or something."

"Don't be silly, Harry. Just shut up and kiss me."

"Fine. It's just – oh gods – we're in the public eye!"

"Mmmm… and I really don't care who sees us."

"Draco, this stone wall is really uncomfortable. You're pushing me too hard…"

"Ha, I bet that wasn't meant to sound dirty."

"Oh merlin."

"You're cute when you blush, you know that?"

"Just what a guy wants to be told, that he's cute… why am I being so sarcastic all of a sudden?"

"It must have rubbed off me. I'm so proud."

"Aaah – yes Draco, you would be."

"Mmm… Harry, you taste nice. What did you have for dessert?"

"Strawberry – Mhhmmm – trifle. Anyways… Draco, we can't – not here! What if Snape came swooping around the corner – he does swoop around a lot. Especailly when I'm doing something I'd rather not be found doing. Stop that, it tickles!"

"Oh, I must remember that: Harry Potter is ticklish under his earlobe."

"Draco, I'm serious! We can't do this is the middle of a corridor… Draaaaco…"

"All right then… here's a random broom cupboard, this will do."

"A random broom cupboard? What – "

"Just shut up Harry, dear. We better check that it's empty…"

"Who – Aaah! Not what I wanted to see! Ew, is that… Ron! What the hell is going on in there!"

"Harry? Bloody hell – I, um… we were looking for, uh…"

"We were searching for Filch's special cleaner, um, stuff. You know, that gets rid of, um, stains and stuff."

"And mudblood! What a party!"

"Draco! Don't call her that… and stop laughing! This is not even remotely funny! Do you think I _really_ wanted to find my friends in a random broom cupboard doing…"

"We weren't doing anything mate; we were just helping out our old buddy Filch…"

"Oh come on, love, I find it rather hilarious. We all know that Weasel is a bit out of touch with his body…"

"You aren't helping Draco! And Hermione, that was a really useless lie! I saw you both, half freakin' _naked_ , doing… stuff that your best friend shouldn't have to walk in on!"

"Um, well… that's a matter of… Hey! What are _you_ doing wanting to get into a random broom cupboard, with _ferret_!"

"Don't sound so shocked Weasel, it's obvious that no one can resist me."

"Er… I, I – well…"

"Bloody hell! Harry's going red – that means…"

"… that he's guilty of something! Harry, if you don't tell me right this minute what you and Malfoy are up to – "

"I – well, we're… er, we…"

"… enjoy shagging each other senseless on a regular basis?"

" _Thanks,_ Draco, _dear_ , that really sums it up just nicely."

"What! He – you – you can _not_ be serious!"

"Oh don't worry Weasel, I'm perfectly serious. Most weekends actually."

"So that's where you go… I was wondering why you didn't hand in your last Potions essay."

"Only you'd notice something like that, Granger."

"Harry, mate? Please, please, _please_ tell me I'm dreaming."

"Er… sorry Ron, but it's true. Draco and I are together."

"Bloody Hell."

"According to the Federation for Flimperwools, small Bristlecogs can cause a strange disease in a person, which causes that person to be attracted to their complete opposite. I think you two may be affected."

"Luna! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, I was in that random broom cupboard the whole time, searching for – "

"Surely not Filch's 'special cleaner stuff '?"

"Oh no, I was searching for my lucky socks. They turn up in the oddest of places you know."

"Ow! Ron, that was my foot… oh, he's fainted. Again."

"Probably because he just figured out that Luna had been in that random broom cupboard _even_ while he and Granger – "

"Stop there Draco, or I will refuse to suck you off tonight."

"I am _so_ glad Ron wasn't awake to hear that…"

"Sorry Hermione. I had to say if for my own sanity."

"Don't worry Harry, your sanity has already disappeared with the Bristlecogs… that's what they do to you. Now I'm going to leave, incase you pass the disease onto me."

"I don't think I'm suffering from a disease Harry, darling… unless love is a disease."

"Couldn't have put it better myself, love."

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**-End.**


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